I missed two weddings this year thanks to conventions. It’s not the first time that’s happened over the course of my career but these times hit me a lot harder than anticipated.
The first wedding I missed this year was that of my cousin, who’s younger than me by about twenty years. Our age gap and the great distance between where we live, I on the east coast of the U.S. and he in the midwest, meant that we didn’t see a lot of each other over the years. But whenever family gatherings would align we would always have an easy time catching up and I enjoyed watching him grow into the man he is today.
His wedding fell on the weekend of Anime Boston, one of the biggest shows of my year. I literally cannot afford to miss that weekend, so I had to decline the invitation to his wedding. I was bummed.
The second wedding I missed this year was just this past weekend while I was at Another Anime Convention. Another of my cousins was getting married, and she was not only closer to me in age but we grew up seeing one another comparatively often. While AAC is a fraction of the size of Anime Boston, they were nice enough to invite me as a guest and in this line of work one does not pass up an opportunity for a free vendor table. So I regrettably declined her invitation as well. I was equally bummed.
What struck me the hardest was seeing the pictures of the weddings afterwards. I wasn’t devastated to the point of being driven to tears, but my heart ached.
With my younger cousin it was a missed opportunity to see him not exactly “all grown up,” as I’d seen him a few times since reaching adulthood, but hitting that marriage milestone is close enough. With my cousin who’s closer in age to me, I missed the opportunity to celebrate that milestone with extended family I literally grew up alongside.
While I don’t regret the decisions to attend those conventions in place of the weddings, as both were important to my career for different reasons, I simultaneously regret missing those (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime celebrations. Time and distance will only increase, and the chances for everyone to attend these things will likely become more and more difficult.
Another of my cousins was recently engaged, too. Here’s hoping they don’t schedule their wedding on the same weekend as another convention I can’t afford to pass up.
(I have a lot of cousins.)