Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m not “the dumb one” among my group of friends, and this is triggered not because of the way they act towards me but how much better they are at games and puzzles than I am.
This latest struggle with my own mental capabilities came from a discussion we were having about an excellent puzzle game we’re playing, The Blue Prince. I could dedicate an entire blog post to it but the short version is that it’s an addicting and intriguing game that’s been eating up most of my free time these past few days.
The game tracks the attempts you make to solve the main puzzle. After some serious trial and error (emphasis on error) I managed to solve the puzzle and reach the goal in 38 in-game “days,” which are the attempts. My friend accomplished that in 19 and solved several secondary puzzles that I’ve been stumped on. My other friend ,who only just began playing, has solved several other secondary puzzles it took me actual days to unravel and have yet to solve in under an evening.
I’m not the dumb one, I say to myself. I’m just not as good as they are at puzzles, I assure myself.
This has happened before, with another game we all played that had me so stumped I had to look up the solution to a problem that was 99 “letters” long so my son could see the game’s happy ending. My friends figured that out themselves with no assistance needed. It also happens at our semi-regular Nerd Summit gatherings, where we play board and card games all day; their minds embrace lengthy and complex rules with ease while I struggle to grasp even the simplest aspects of several games.
I’m not the dumb one, I say again to myself. I’m just not as good as they are at puzzles, I assure myself.
I get it eventually. It takes me significantly longer to see a solution or grasp a complex game concept, but I get there if I set my mind to it (with the exception of that 99-letter puzzle). But mental speed is considered a virtue, and someone “slower” than their peers is often a reference to their mental capacity. My friends are supportive and loving and my forged family, but when I compare my puzzle comprehension to theirs I can’t help but feel like I’m “slow.”
I’m not the dumb one, I say again and again to myself.