My wife is away this week, visiting her good friend in another state. She took our son with her, so he could spend time with her best friend’s kids. I, once again, have stayed behind to both watch after our cats and look after the house.
This is the first of two weeks this summer I’ll have the place to myself, the second trip taking place next month. As always, I both look forward to and dread this time by myself.
Obviously, the peace and quiet is a huge benefit. Being able to work on comics and other art without worrying about having to entertain my son is a huge weight off my shoulders. I can begin working whenever I please, instead of first thing in the morning so I can have the afternoon free to occupy my son. Being able to sleep in (as late as my cats will allow me) is another huge benefit. And, perhaps most importantly, the rooms I clean actually remain clean for more than an hour.
What I dread, as always, is the lengthy amount of time I will be Alone With My Thoughts.
Not counting the time spent in fatherhood, I’m by myself a lot. While I’m fortunate enough to work from home, that also means I don’t have a lot of reasons to leave the house during the day and converse with other adults, even briefly. I like human connection, so lacking that during my work day, my brain turns inward and I become Alone With My Thoughts. I wish it were an insightful, introspective time but it’s mostly beating myself up over past decisions and turning comparison into the thief of joy.
I should not be left alone with my thoughts, but someone has to look after our house and our cats. One of our furry family members is very old and needs medication twice a day, and whenever my wife goes away something happens in our house that needs attention, which I have thankfully been home to attend to. Last year it was a carpenter ant infestation, and a few years before that our basement nearly flooded in an intense rainfall.
I’m going to distract myself as best I can, by focusing on art, cleaning, my beloved cats, and likely being annoying as I pester my friends via text messages throughout the day.