Those Nights The Dice Don’t Like You

As I sit down to write this blog I’ve just come off my weekly remote tabletop roleplaying game sessions with my friends and holy shit the dice were unkind to me tonight.

None of my big value spells hit their targets, so bye-bye to those spell slots. My spells that didn’t require attack rolls gave crummy damage or the targets made their saves to halve the already meager damage. And when my character got targeted, he got HIT. Like a critical hit. With status effects thanks to a critically failed save. And I’m playing the party’s Wizard. It’s a miracle I didn’t lose my character tonight. The session ended with me only having enough actions to run away. What a heroic night for yours truly.

I love TTRPGs and I love playing with my friends, but man do I hate those nights when the dice are not rolling in your favor. I hate them so much that sometimes I have to apologize to my friends the next day for how grumpy I became over headset. But I can’t help myself. When I get frustrated I have to express it, vocally and immediately, or else it festers in my chest and rots my mood even worse.

Playing remotely has been a huge blessing for us, as we can play together more reliably and in our pajamas, but when the dice are fucking you over there’s no physical “dice jail” to send them to. When you play in-person and some of your dice are “misbehaving” you put them aside for others from your set. I fully realize it’s a purely superficial and superstitious action, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make me feel better. There is no dice jail for computer programs that simulate dice rolls, and I’m not about to put my fist through my monitor… tempted as I may be some nights. My friend did make a little macro that brings up a little dice jail graphic in the chat scroll for when I’m feeling grumpy, though. It helps a little.

I could end this blog with an attempt at personal reflection or a more profound explanation as to why missing dice rolls in a game where I play adult make-believe makes me so aggravated, but I won’t. Really I’m just in a grumpy mood from tonight’s game and needed to vent to other tabletop gamers who feel this same dice frustration. Grumble.

To dice jail with you, digital dice.